


I’ll write to you (a tragedy, my dear)

by sus_spice



Series: The Merchant of Death [He trusts no one] [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, BAMF James "Rhodey" Rhodes, BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Tony Stark, Civil War Team Iron Man, Don't Like Don't Read, Extremis Tony Stark, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, I can't angst, Is this a messed up smoothie with just about everything?, Merchant of Death Tony Stark, Not Captain America Friendly, Not Steve Rogers freindly, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sassy FRIDAY, TRAGEDY MFSSSSSSSSSSS, Team Cap doesn't deserve Tony, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is a bitch when he wants to be, Tony Stark-centric, What Was I Thinking?, and its quite fucking hurt, ft Tony healing and becoming absolutely done, guess whos back mfs, is this angst?, is this fluff?, okie byebye im gonna go now, thank you very much, yes indeed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29174670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sus_spice/pseuds/sus_spice
Summary: Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood.Shamelessly Team Iron Man, don't like don't read.
Relationships: implied Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: The Merchant of Death [He trusts no one] [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940086
Comments: 43
Kudos: 339





	I’ll write to you (a tragedy, my dear)

**Author's Note:**

> Title: its not a song its literally something that I came up with in the middle of math class, god damn ive been too into dark academia-
> 
> Hey yall, i'm back! its a little late but happy new years!! Hopefully 2021 is gonna be better than 2020
> 
> Not beta'd but it was once read over if that counts-
> 
> Kinda drowning in school work rn idk how I managed to jot this down

Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood.

Tony would know, after all, he’s the man who has everything and yet nothing at all, isn’t he? And he’s spilt quite a lot of blood.

  
  
  


It’s really pathetic isn’t it?

  
  


It’s dark.

  
  


It’s cold.

  
  


And Tony’s all in his lonesome. 

  
  


Nearly passed out on the floor of his wrecked workshop. 

  
  


With several non-descript bottles of alcohol next to him.

  
  


_ Empty  _ bottles, that is.

-

Tony’s not sure if his body was supposed to feel like that but he wasn’t sure of anything now, was he?

He feels… disconnected. Like he’s not tied down to this world,  _ to his body, _ like he’s just a.... a piece of driftwood lost at sea. All in it’s lonesome too. Tony giggled, slightly hysterical and it sounded so far away…

His vision slowly darkened, and he took a nap. A nap, yeah, that’s what it was. Nothing bad, just…a....nap…. 

-

There was something Howard said when he was having one of those rare moments when he acted like a  _ real _ father. (At least, that’s what Tony thought, he didn’t really have the experience to distinguish between a real father and a shitty dad. Oh well.)

He’d forgotten it for most of his life, but for some reason or the other, it came rather vividly back into his big brain, like an epiphany, as he had an anxiety attack on the floor of his beloved workshop.

_ “Now listen here, boy, this world is filled with heartless folk, you gotta learn when to stab people and when to hug ’em. Listen carefully, if they stand behind you, protect them. If they stand beside you, give them some respect, if they stand in front of you, you watch their back, boy.  _

_ And if they stand against you though? You be a  _ Stark _ and show them no mercy.” _

Sure, Howard was pissed drunk when he said it but it accounts for something right?

Tony made sure not to forget it again. For his father. Who  _ hadn’t killed _ his mother driving drunk. Who had been  _ murdered  _ in cold blood. With his head  _ bashed  _ in.

Tony rolled over to the side and threw up whatever was left in his stomach.

-

Tony realized that when you wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it. 

He’s inner musings were put on hold as he smiled for a flashing camera. 

Case in point.

-

-

-

The taste of coconut in the back of his tongue was familiar yet so foreign. He hadn’t tasted that in what? 6 years? 7 maybe?

He dispersed that thought as he focused on the prototype braces for his precious sour patch. He wasn’t gonna be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if Tony had a say about it, and he had one hell of a say.

His fingers absently drummed against the bright glow from his chest and-

Oh yes. He had the Arc Reactor reinstalled. That tends to happen when one has a vibranium shield rammed into oneself repeatedly.

How absurd. 

He also had a diluted version of the Extremis Virus in his veins, another courtesy of the good ol captain of course.

The feeling of his veins constantly being on fire was something he’d get used to someday. Not today, but someday.

Sometimes, he wonders what would’ve happened if he had cracked under the pressure instead. Would he have made a better villain? He’s got the tragic backstory down, after all. 

Well maybe in another life. He had way too much on his plate to be an evil mastermind at the moment. 

He yawned and vaguely heard FRIDAY say something about 7 hours of sleep in 7 days and proceeded with Rhodey’s braces’ modification. 

“-oss? Boss!” FRIDAY startled him awake. Not that he was sleeping in the first place. He yawned again and walked, no, stumbled to his coffee machine and continued to consume enough caffeine that would've killed any lesser man. 

“Is, ugh, someone dying Fri?” He sipped his coffee, only to find he missed his target by a mile and ended up spilling some of the precious liquid on the floor. 

“Yes Boss,” FRIDAY stated.

Tony snapped his attention to one of his closest screens, “Who, how and where?”

“Tony Stark, sleep deprivation and caffeine overdose, Personal workshop, Stark Tower.” FRIDAY deadpanned.

“Hardy har har Fri. I’m just... doing science-ing, no harm in that.”

“Walk in a straight line Boss.”

“Wha-”

“Walk.”

Wow. Okay then, geez, he placed one foot in front of the other and walked.

“See? I’m fine.”

A hologram lit up that showed him rather embarrassingly stumble across his ‘shop.

“I am now exercising my right to kick you out and am shutting down the ‘shop, for the time being, Boss.” FRIDAY sassed him. Damn, you’d think that his kids better pay some more respect to their old man.

“FRIDAY, baby, come on-”

“Nope, out with you Boss.”

The lights started flickering off and DUM-E joined his younger sister and nudged him out of his own workshop.

Tony shook his head and said to the door, “The audacity of my children, my old man heart can’t handle this y’know?” FRIDAY all but shoo-ed him away which obviously hurt Tony’s pride, shoo-ed by his own AI after all.

He drummed his fingertips against the reactor again and let FRIDAY navigate him to his bedroom (quite embarrassing now that he thought about it). 

-

“...Boss, I’m calling Miss Potts.” 

Tony snapped out of whatever he was trapped in and yelped, “What? Why? I’m fine!”

“Boss…” FRIDAY started like she didn't know how to finish the sentence, “...you’ve been staring at the wall for 37 minutes… I’m-” FRIDAY’s voice broke with emotion, and Tony’d be damned if  _ that  _ didn't hit him hard, “-I’m worried about you Boss, you always smile for the press and the public but when you’re home you’re like… like an empty shell of yourself.” FRIDAY finished quietly.

“Don't tattle on me, FRIDAY,” Tony knows she only cares for him but he can’t have her call Pepper, Pep already had a lot on her plate and- 

-and he didn’t need to be a more of a burden than he already is…

“I’m not calling someone that would reprimand you, Boss, Miss Potts isn’t like that-” FRIDAY said softly, she, as an AI, had  _ absolutely  _ no right to sound that comforting, “-I’m calling her so you can sleep in the arms of someone you trust, someone you  _ have _ trusted for decades, someone who’d throw away everything to be here to help you right now.” 

Tony’s eyes burned, so far that wasn’t an effect of Extremis so it must be something else. Must be. 

-

He didn’t know when Pepper arrived nor did he know when he fell asleep but what he  _ did _ know is that he woke up after 3 hours of nice, dreamless (nightmare-less) cat nap, snuggled against Pepper who had a hand in his hair (probably from putting him to sleep by patting his hair). He just froze and stayed pressed against her, thinking.

He and Pepper had been friends for decades, ever since she pulled out a can of pepper spray (hence the nickname) on Happy all those years ago. 

He thought of her as a friend who was a constant in his life. That supported him and helped him through everything. Then-

Then he caught feelings, he really liked her, and they got together. Simple as that.

But then again, nothing was ever simple in Tony’s life was it?

They had arguments, she was worried about him dying when he did his day-time job of flying around the world in a tin can and then the Avengers happened. They moved in, his relationship with Pepper momentarily put on the back burner, she got busy with SI, and then…

And then they took their first ever  _ break _ . 

Then after that, they took enough breaks for their relationship to be considered an on-again, off-again relationship. That didn’t bode well for either party in their professional lives (cue the rumors and the internet drama). 

Tony and Pepper were taking a break when the ‘Civil War’ happened, she didn’t like how he was the one cleaning up after Rogers’ and Company, she didn’t like how Tony was letting them get away with something akin to murder and manslaughter, she didn’t like how they were using SI’s money without a simple ‘thank you’, she didn’t like how Tony became their  _ scapegoat _ (that led to a dangerous argument). Long story short, she didn’t like a lot of things. 

After the fresh betrayal, the most Tony had expected was a ‘told you so’ but that didn’t happen, instead he didn’t even see her until after the surgery and Pepper only stared at him with bloodshot eyes and eventually averted her gaze. 

He wasn’t sure which one was worse, but it stung all the same. 

So understandably he was a little confused as to why Pep was here with him at the moment. 

As if she could read his mind (and knowing how utterly efficient she is, she probably could), she shifted and muttered, “Tony? Are you awake?”

Tony just hummed and refused to let her go. 

She carded her hand through his hair again and sighed, “I… I know I’m being unfair Tony.I know I’m hurting you, and… and I really don’t want to,” she let out a wet chuckle which turned into sniffles, Tony tightened his arms around her and let her continue, “It's just that, it was so, so  _ obvious  _ that they were using you and you just  _ let  _ them. They changed you Tony. I didn't know what to do. But I do know, I do know I was so so  _ so  _ stupid to, to ignore you and  _ avoid _ you when you needed someone and that was so  _ insolent  _ of me and-” 

“It’s ok Pep, I understand.” Tony soothed her.

“No. No, Tony it’s really not, you don’t have to forgive me and you don’t have to talk to me ever again. But do not tell me what I did was ok. What I did was  _ horrible _ . You can’t tell me you didn’t feel the slightest of pain from me avoiding you?” 

Tony stayed silent. 

Pepper stifled a sob and hugged him. She kept repeating ‘I’m so sorry Tony’ into his hair. 

Tony could only tighten his hold on her and let her cry.

“It hurt me Pep, but I know there’s only so much you can take too,” Tony paused as Pepper stilled, “You need a break too, is it weird that I  _ just _ realized people don’t apologize to me anymore?” Tony laughed bitterly. 

“You’re right, I don’t have to forgive you,” It was hard for Tony to get the words out because his first response was to always forgive and forget because it was always his fault, wasn't it? 

_ God, what had they  _ done _ to him. _

Pepper tensed, and Tony continued, “I don’t have to, but I want to, I  _ need  _ you Pep, in my life, with me. I’m pretty sure I can’t function without you and sure as hell know I’d be dead in a ditch somewhere if it weren’t for you. So please, I forgive you, will you do me a favour and forgive  _ yourself _ already so you can help get my head on straight? Because I’ve been Tony the pushover for too long, it’s time for  _ Tony Fucking Stark _ to make a comeback, yeah?”

Pepper made a noise that was something in between a snort and a choke and nodded, “I’m not going to forget it, but I want to help you so I suppose I can forgive my stupid actions…”

“Fantastic, now I’d like to catch a few more days of sleep if that’s ok with you? Yes? Yes. Perfect, good night, Pep.” 

Pepper laughed her perfect little laugh and sighed in what Tony assumed was content. “Good night Tony.”

Tony smiled against her collarbone because he knew things were going to be better between them. 

-

He was with Rhodey and Pepper when the  _ care package _ arrived. 

He and Pep were helping Rhodey get used to the new braces (Pepper, being as efficient as she is, was multitasking and organizing a charity event at the same time) when a little something came in the mail for a Tony  _ Stank _ .

Of course, the three of them had a laugh over that, well that is until Tony opened it and saw a burner phone and a letter. 

Pepper glared at the burner phone, “There’s only one person who’d have the  _ audacity  _ to send you a burner phone with a letter, Tony. You don’t have to read it.” She said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

Rhodey scoffed at the package like it personally offended him, and it probably did, “I can’t believe him.” 

Tony studied the box a little more before cackling, startling Rhodey and Pepper, “This stupid little fucknut put his goddamn  _ address _ on it, how the  _ hell _ was he a  _ master _ tactician?” 

Pepper choked and gripped the table hard, pursing her lips, trying to hold in the incredulous laughter that was sure to come sooner or later.

Rhodey, on the other hand, made no such attempt and wheezed, “I think I’m dying, this son of a-”

Tony cut him off, “He dragged the kitty prince into it as well, looks like his merry band of psychos hopped onto T’Challa’s ass.”

Pepper narrowed her eyes, “Serves him right.” She huffed, there was no lost love between Tony and T’Challa considering the fact that he was  _ right there _ in Siberia and yet didn’t bother helping Tony.

“So the expired coupons are in Wakawhatchacallit now?” Rhodey rolled himself over to the table and inspected the box himself. 

“First, expired coupons? Really Jim, you couldn’t think of a better insult than that and second, I believe it’s called Wakanda and it would seem so wouldn’t it? I can’t believe the complete and utter  _ idiocy _ Rogers’ possesses.” She shook her head but didn’t bother hiding her vindictive smile. 

“You know…” Rhodey continued to look at the letter which Tony was reading (and making rather hilarious expressions to), a nasty smile growing on his face.

Pepper grinned her board meeting famous ‘shark smile’, “We should return the favour shouldn't we?” 

“Why yes, of course,” Tony smirked and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, beginning to jot down his short and  _ fucking vicious _ little letter, “I’ll write back to him and wouldn’t it be  _ tragic _ if somehow Interpol found out?”

Tony didn’t need to turn back to know that Pepper and Rhodey had some downright terrifying facial expressions right about now.

Oh and the burner phone? It  _ burned _ alright.

  
  


-

-

-

_ Dear Rogers,  _

_ May you burn in hell. _

_ Yours truly, _

_ You know who I am _

_ P.S You’ll never be outside of a cell again for the rest of your unnaturally long life if Pepper gets what she wants. And trust me, she  _ always _ gets what she wants. _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make this girl smile :3  
> please talk to me im lonely af
> 
> (i kinda want to write winteriron even though i cant write romance for the life of me, thoughts?)
> 
> :Hope you like it!
> 
> : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sus-spice 
> 
> :Constructive criticism is welcome!
> 
> :I'd love to read your comments!
> 
> Prompts are welcome toooooo


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